“An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.” – Robert Heinlein. Living in our society, I receive daily assurances that it is not a polite society even though it is know that many of us within the society are armed. Perhaps Heinlein’s quote needs some qualifying statements or additional editorial input. An armed society is a polite society, except for armed criminals who should be removed from society and unarmed louts who are rude by nature and don’t understand the extreme risks they are facing through the exhibition of their nature. Being rude bothers others and gains nothing. It is a way for those who lack self-confidence to artificially elevate their defective egos.

“Be polite to all, but intimate with few.” – Thomas Jefferson. This seems to be an informed, capable way of dealing with others. There’s no pain in being polite and one can be polite while also maintaining some distance. It does not mean you need to bend over and be nice. I don’t even like being nice. Part of the dictionary definition for polite is being “courteous” and “civil,” while the definition for being nice includes “agreeable, kind [and] socially acceptable.” One can be courteous without being agreeable. I can be civil, keeping myself out of the spotlight of the rude and still remain detached from the situation or the people involved. Courtesy does not have to come only from the socially acceptable. I'd hate to think I was considered socially acceptable, yet I make it a point to be courteous. So, polite doesn't mean nice. Conversely, do not make the mistake of many by thinking that polite and deadly cannot coexist.

“When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.” – Winston Churchill. Despite remaining polite, you may decide that the situation warrants something other than a civil response. That is always your choice. By moving from polite to deadly, you will be initiating a completely unexpected action. Everyone knows that a polite person just doesn’t instantly attack, right? If you are looking for every possible tactic that can be brought into your life to gain an advantage, this one is easy to effect and powerfully useful. All you have to do is be polite with others as part of your nature. Once it is “you,” then when you choose to act outside those self-imposed tenets, you will often totally surprise any adversary.