Since it's Sunday and since I am a Reverend (from the same church that ordained Billy Gibbons, so no need to hide your drinks...), today's sermon is on assumption. From some movie: "Assumption is the mother of all f***ups." Yes, it is. I was talking last Thursday with a guy who owns a company that's been awarded numerous times for its quality. He has also shot everything that walks or crawls. We were going over information - like what does a person need to know to buy something or use something. Easy enough, right? Wrong. It isn't because he and I know "stuff," it's that we don't realize that someone else is not working with our knowledge base. Then, when that person cannot do the task, or gets hurt, we figure that person is just stupid. It ain't he or she who is stupid, it's me or him. That is the assumption. Some examples:

My ex's boyfriend Bo was asking me about how to start up her Softail Harley. [Ok, in drama class, we are all supposed to hate everybody so life is full of crap. Sorry, won't work with us. She and I can't live together but we are friends and she picked out a great guy to be with.] I tell him the usual start procedure and how it will puke oil since it sat so long, etc. I'm over there yesterday and he says it runs but just for a few seconds and dies. I fire it right up. Oh, I'm the cool guy biker, right? Hell, no. I am sitting there with my thumb hooked on the choke, holding the knob out. I realize I never told him that I set it up so you have to hold the knob out manually. Hey, I knew it, shouldn't he? I tell him that I set the choke so you'd have to manually hold it out or, if it stays open, the engine ends up running too rich and the plugs get fouled. My error, not his. Think about how often you think somebody else just can't do something, then think about whether you gave them enough information to do it in the first place.

So, when Bo, who is an ace shot with modern guns, asked me about shooting black powder cartridge rifles, I thought "I know how, but can I teach how?" No. I can't. I've asked the guy in the first paragraph who owns the company that got all the awards to come teach a class. He taught me, so he can teach. Yes, I've heard "those who can't do, teach" but he is not one of those people. Consider whether you can relay enough information to others when you say you can teach.

Anne asked about guns. I've never met her. She's never had a gun and wants one so she can shoot bad guys if she needs to do that. The responses to her question were typical: get a snub nose 38 revolver or a shotgun. Bullshit and bullshit. A little 38 revolver is about the worst fighting tool there is. I'd rather have a Katana but wouldn't suggest a sword for a beginner (or me. Sorry, Stephanie [my girlfriend], I'll fix the fan and the light fixture. And the ceiling. Anyway...the three bears theme - too big too little, just right [or not])

And a shotgun does not spray buckshot in a six-foot circle, despite the gun expert assholes who tell you that. Shotguns are very specialized fighting tools. They are also big and heavy. I told Anne to get a Glock 19. It won't run out of ammo when life gets "real western." It is a breeze to shoot, you can't hurt it and makes a fine beating tool if needed. In this situation, I didn't assume. I know because I can teach this stuff. But, doesn't mean I am not an idiot as the next example will show.

Anne also asked about locks since she said she was afraid somebody was trying to get in. My answer was alarms if she could afford them, drill holes for nails in the windows, get those Master company door wedges - the white adjustable pipes with a hook for the door knob. She already has dogs. I am assuming somebody is trying to break in and get her stuff. My bad. Later on, I see a photo of Anne, who looks like Penthouse and Playboy fight over who gets her photos next month. Mr. Gangboy Prick isn't trying to break in and steal stuff, he wants her. A quick email to her about "wedge chairs against the doors, get door bars, go to my friend D and borrow a Glock until I can give you some lessons on shooting [Hey, this is firearms shooting lessons - don't want Stephanie to shoot me with her very nice HK P7M13, so no "lessons' on what I'd like to do with Anne]. Oh, and Anne has no idea she looks like she does - stunning women sometimes don't which means they are really in trouble (for the hot ones who do know, you can already take care of yourselves). What if she'd been hurt during the delay while I assumed it was thieves rather than rapists? Think, consider, think, work through it in your mind, ask others. I ask Stephanie all the time: "will this work, what am I missing, can you do the task based on what I have told you?"

"Assumption is the mother of all f***ups." That doesn't mean they screwed up, perhaps you did when you didn't give them enough information. Don't make it so they get dead due to the information you neglected to give them.
Thank you and God Bless.
The Reverend David